I had a plan this week that would be great, probably still is pretty good. But than my girls got sick and you get sidelined. Than my house becomes a disaster and you get sidelined. Than the girls are better and I feel like I can't keep up. I had all intentions yesterday to get to the gym after they went to bed. I really need to keep my running up. When I got home from work I even said to myself, I should just put my gym clothes on now to help my cause.
By the time the girls were asleep, so was I. My husband came up and said you need to go to the gym now and I gave up. I just wanted to veg. This happens a lot. And I know if I were to have gone to the gym, yeah it would have sucked for a bit but than I would feel more awake and than possibly want to attack the hurricane that went through my house. But I didn't, I moped, I watched tv, I went to sleep.
The struggle with yourself is hard, to go or not to go? To get there or not. Its not easy, nor did I think it would be. But I still hate the struggle. Sometimes, like this week, I feel like I fight myself hourly 'don't eat that' 'oh but I really need it' 'don't eat that' and I always cave. These past few days eating chocolate has won over working out. My motivation went kaputs on Tuesday. But now its Thursday and I hope I can reverse the damage.
I don't think I'm alone here, I just don't understand how people can go forever without chocolate? lol. I know it seems lame but seriously...Or chips or cookies or just plain overeating. How do you do it? and for so long...forever.
So my struggle within is still there and always will be. I need to find a way to deal with it properly not by shoving chocolate almonds in my mouth :)
4 comments:
I think the thing is that you don't have to give up anything. But it's that mindset that I'm never going to get it again so I have to eat it ALL and NOW that gets me into trouble.
It's just about balance.
I went through the same struggles as you, more with the salty snack crap than with the sweets (dentist accidentally yanked my sweet tooth as a child). It's like any addiction... smoking, alcohol, drugs... it seems impossible to overcome, but you can definitely do it. Over time, it gets easier until it's simply second nature. If you can just get over that initial hump, the waves die down quite a bit.
Good luck...
I agree with Marie and can identify with every single thing you wrote!
I think you should read my post from last night because it includes an incredible concept that was left in a comment from another blogger that really picked me UP from feeling this exact same way!
Aw, come-on, no one can go forever without chocolate. I think it is finding the balance of having one piece vs one bar. You know?
HOpe you are feeling better!
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